My friend Lolly

She is awesome. But she used to be a doctor until she came to her own hospital where she worked as a patient. I was there. I was just a student observer. Well, not a doctor. But health science BA. I was with her all the time. She lost a lot of weight. Gained a lot of weight. I quit my internship. My dog died and I could not tolerate anyone suffer. I was broken myself. But Lolly became my friend. She has a hormonal imbalances. I do too. But body and mind connects so much. I don’t know what goes first. I do believe unhappy people get seriously sick, just like my mom had. Well. It is never late to step on the path of enlightenment. Lolly will be ok. Too many people care about her and love her. Let it go…

Let it go

My brother from another mother had a birthday today. I think I made a stupid joke and hurt him. He knows I love him and respect him. Words hurt and even my expensive present cannot heal the hurting. Let it go: I am forgiving myself. Let it go. I am sending him love.

Sad day. They found Gabby

Sad day. The pain of human childhood trauma and not healed emotions lead to a tragedy. One more tragedy occurred. Her spirit came to me two days ago and told me:” I am dead.” She was crying. Her spirit was wondering. And later she flew away into eternity, her hair flying in the wind.

She could be my daughter. She is swimming in the light now.

I did yoga today. Still feel out of context. I feel sick. Hopefully, I will get better. I am forgiving myself for every single error I made. Let it go… sickness is a self harm when we hate ourselves or used to hate. I hated myself for not helping my mom while she was dying and I was in another country. But I am forgiving myself. I saw her in dream today. She said her birthday is the 4 th of April. Her parents did not know for sure when she was born it was the end of the war and they were too busy. The barn with documents got burned. They said somewhere between February and 10 of May. She said her real date of birth today. Wao. What a day!